Dear Queenie,

  I’m in high school and my father took away my smart phone as a punishment for something I did wrong and when it was time for him to give it back to me he couldn’t find it.

  I paid for the phone myself out of my allowance and my pay for a part-time job and I also paid a lot for the apps and other stuff I downloaded, but when I asked my father to replace the phone he said it was my fault he took it away and I will have to replace it myself.

  Queenie, is this fair?—Deprived teenager

Dear Teenager,

  It depends on what your punishment was supposed to be. If it was supposed to be permanent loss of the smart phone, you will have to replace it yourself – assuming your father says it is okay to do so and he will not take the new one away from you.

  However, if your father said he would give your phone back after a certain period of time, then it is up to him to do so, even if it means buying you a new one and loading it up for you (or reimbursing you for what it costs you to do so).

Dear Queenie,

  A woman I was friends with since high school started sending sexy text messages to my husband. When I found out I cut off our friendship right then and there.

  My husband says it didn’t really mean anything, they were just joking around, and I am being too hard on her.

  Queenie, do you agree with him?—Angry wife

Dear Wife,

  Maybe they were just joking around and your husband was enjoying it – as a joke – just a little too much. Perhaps you should have had a frank talk with your friend and asked her to quit that kind of joking around with your husband. Maybe it is still not too late to do so. It depends on just how close your friendship with her was and how much you regret losing it. And, on whether the “joking around” has stopped.

Dear Queenie,

  In our family both my husband’s parents and mine have gotten divorced and remarried. So how do our children learn the difference between their real grandparents and their step-grandparents?

  Queenie, they can’t all  be “Grandma” and Grandpa”!—Confused mother

Dear Mother,

  If your children are old enough to have been aware of the divorces and remarriages, they probably will have figured this out for themselves.

  If not, your children will probably follow whatever lead you give them. How about “Grandma” and “Grandpa” for the real grandparents and “Grandma or Grandpa (whatever their name is)” for the step-grandparents?

Dear Queenie,

  When my wife and I got married we agreed that our children from our first marriages could live with us as long as they were in school and getting passing grades. Now all but one of them are out of school, out on their own and out of the house.

  The last one, my daughter, is going to college and still living with us. She gets very good grades, has a part-time job and pays for her own car insurance, cell phone bill, etc., and has study financing for her tuition, but now my wife says it is time she either moves out or starts paying us for rent and food.

  Queenie, is this right? It doesn’t cost us much to have her living with us and it’s not as if we need the money and it would mean she would have to drop out of school. I think it’s just because my wife doesn’t much like my daughter.—College girl’s father

Dear Father,

  Would your wife agree to pay for your daughter to live in a dormitory or get an apartment of her own? Could your daughter pay a small amount for “rent and food” that would make your wife happy?

  Your wife is in the wrong here. The two of you had an agreement and now she is trying to back out of it.