Dear Queenie,
I got let out of school early one day and when I got home I found my father in bed with a woman who was not my mother. He was not only cheating on Mom, he was doing it in her own bed!
I’ve been saving up for a big fancy TV set for my bedroom and Dad promised to get it for me if I don’t tell Mom what I saw.
I’m mad at Dad for cheating and for where he was doing it, but I don’t want to be the one who breaks up their marriage and our family.
Queenie, what should I do?—Cheater’s daughter

Dear Daughter,
Not only is your father an adulterer, but he is trying to make you become an accessory to his misdeed by accepting a bribe and remaining silent.
If you go along with him there is still a good chance your mother will find out from someone else, and then, to make things worse, what if she finds out that you knew about it all along and did not tell her?
I think that if you can answer my question you will know the answer to yours.

Dear Queenie,
I’m a woman in my 20s. Recently my best friend told me that a man we have been friends with since high school likes me better than just a friend but is afraid to say anything in case I don’t like him back the same way – which I don’t.
Queenie, how do I let him know we will never be more than just friends without hurting his feelings?—No chance for romance

Dear No chance,
Keep your contacts with this man to a minimum. Make sure you only see him when other friends are with you – group socialising, but no “just you and him” occasions. Do not contact him first in any way – not by phone or text message or e-mail or whatever, and do not respond immediately to any message you receive from him; in fact, sometimes do not respond at all, and when you do, keep it “low key.”
And if you know anyone he might like who might “like him back” romantically, feel free to introduce him to her.

Dear Queenie,
My mother tells everyone I am disrespecting her because I won’t let her smoke in my house because one of my children has breathing problems. It’s not just her. I don’t let anyone smoke in my house, I ask them to go outside if they want to smoke. And I won’t let my kids visit her because she won’t promise not to smoke around them when they are at her house.
Queenie, isn’t she the one who is disrespecting me and my children?—Careful parent

Dear Parent,
Of course she is! And you can quote me on that if you want to.
Your mother is the one who is being disrespectful to you and your children.
Everyone (except your mother, apparently) knows that second-hand smoke – the smoke from someone else’s cigarette, cigar or pipe – can be just as harmful to people nearby as it is to the smoker, even if the non-smokers do not have health issues like one of your children.

Dear Queenie,
There is another couple we often go out to dinner with, but the wife spends most of the time at the restaurant going around to other tables greeting people she knows and introducing herself to the ones she doesn’t know.
We find this embarrassing and also rude.
Queenie, shouldn’t she be spending her time with the people she came with?— Offended friends

Dear Friends,
Of course she should, but it would be equally rude to scold her about it. The next time it happens, ignore her, finish your meal if you have already started eating, and leave when you are done – without saying anything to her if she is not at your table at the time. If that leaves her with your bill, so be it. If later she says anything to you about leaving her there like that, tell her you could not say goodbye to her because she was not there to say it to.
You also might want to consider not going out with that couple very often, and if they ask you why, tell them it is because the wife does not seem very interested in your company.