Dear Queenie,

I met a guy and went out with him and had a great time and he said he wanted to take me out again. A couple of days later he texted me and asked for my schedule so he could plan our next date, but after that I didn’t hear from him for more than a week until he sent me an e-mail apologising for not calling because he had the flu.

Queenie, couldn’t he have at least texted me or e-mailed that he was sick and would call when he got better? Should I give him another chance or just forget about him?—Ambivalent

Dear Ambivalent,

So while he was down with a fever and probably sick to his stomach as well, you think he should have had the fortitude to send text messages or e-mails on the way to the toilet to empty his stomach? Give me a break (and him too)!

Yes, give him a chance to show you what kind of person he is when he is in good health. You can decide after another date or two or three whether you want to go any further with him.

Dear Queenie,

My wife and I separated for a while a year or so ago and while we were separated I met another woman. We went out a few times, but she knew I was married and we never got close to each other or even kissed or made out.

Then my wife and I got back together and we are trying to make our marriage work but I have been keeping in touch with the other woman just in case things don’t work out.

Queenie, is this cheating?—Just wondering

Dear Wondering,

Of course it is a form of cheating. There is a reason the phrase “forsaking all others” is part of your wedding vows. If you really want to make your marriage work, you will make a complete commitment to your wife and forget about “hedging your bets.” And hope your wife does not find out about your “just in case” friend.

Dear Queenie,

A friend of mine told me she thought my sister’s daughter was being molested by the father of her best friend and I told my sister so she would not let my niece play at that girl’s house any more. Now the person who told me is mad at me for telling my sister what that person said to me in confidence.

Queenie, should I have held my tongue?—Worried aunt

Dear Aunt,

NO! Your niece’s safety was the most important thing to consider and the possibility that she was being abused needed to be checked out. If nothing came of the accusation, all well and good, but if it was true the abuse – and the abuser – had to be stopped sooner rather than later.

Dear Queenie,

When I go out with friends, usually one of us is chosen to be the “designated driver.”

According to me, this means the chosen person should not drink anything alcoholic for the whole evening, to be sure of being sober when it is time to drive home. However, the last time we went out, I noticed that the designated driver was drinking beer. When I said something about not drinking because they were going to drive, the person said it was only beer and they only had a few, and I was making a fuss about nothing.

Queenie, who was right?—Want to be safe

Dear Want to be safe,

You were. Beer is an alcoholic beverage, and it is quite easy to get “buzzed” on it without realising its effects.

I hope you had sense enough to take a taxi home that night.