Dear Queenie,

I love my boyfriend but I’m not sure I can trust him. When I call him at work he’s not always where he should be and once when I followed him I saw him chatting with a girl in line at a fast food place.

A friend of mine told me she heard he was thinking of breaking up with me because I don’t trust him but when I asked him about it he said it wasn’t so, if he was going to break up he would have done it already.

Queenie, should I believe him?—Doubting Tomasina

Dear Tomasina,

The fact is you do not trust your boyfriend and he knows it. Apparently he is willing to put up with your distrust for now, but how long before it gets to be too much for him to handle? And has he ever given you any real reason to distrust him?

You should have an open honest discussion with him about this. And possibly professional couples counselling would help you both deal with this issue.

Dear Queenie,

I’m a senior citizen who lives alone. I always keep my car keys with me even when I am at home because in an emergency if I can’t reach my phone I can always push the panic button and set off the horn of my car so my neighbors will know something is wrong.

Queenie, I thought you might like to pass this idea along to your other readers.—Cautious Cathy

Dear Cathy,

Thank you for your suggestion. But may I add that you should be sure to inform your neighbours that if your car horn starts blaring it may mean you are in trouble and you would like for them to check on you. Car alarms do go off spontaneously so often that people just tend to ignore it.

Dear Queenie,

My sister who is about to graduate with her Bachelor’s degree still acts like a child.

She never bothered to get a driver’s licence because she can’t afford to own a car, so she expects me and her friends to do the driving whenever we go out together. She still lives with our parents and they pay for everything – college tuition, health insurance, cell phone, food, clothes, etc.

She also can’t keep track of the simplest things. She has lost her wallet several times without noticing it and even gets lost on this small island in the most familiar areas.

Queenie, will she grow up eventually or is there something I could do to help her?—Concerned sister

Dear Sister,

Your sister may grow up eventually. But there is not much you can do to force her to do so more quickly.

However, your description of her losing things and getting lost indicates that she may have a minor form of attention deficit disorder, although being able to earn her Bachelor’s degree would seem to argue against this idea.

Still, it would not hurt for her to have a psychological evaluation, if you can persuade her or your parents to arrange it. At best, it would reassure you that there is nothing wrong with her; at worst it could motivate her and your parents to get her into some form of therapy.

Dear Queenie,

Several years ago my older sister was killed in an auto accident caused by a drunk driver. Now my younger sister is actually dating the man who killed out older sister!

I only found out about it because my younger sister had to call me one night to come get her because the man she was with got into an accident and was arrested for driving drunk and causing the accident.

I am so angry with her for having anything to do with the man who killed our sister that I don’t even want to speak to her ever again.

Queenie, am I making too much of this?—

Dear Brother,

I do not think you are making too much of this, not so much because the man caused your older sister’s death, but because he clearly is an uncontrolled alcoholic who not only has cost you the life of one of your sisters, but is now endangering another one – not to mention everyone else he may imperil with his drunk driving.

However, please do not cut ties with your sister who is dating him, because she almost certainly will be needing your assistance and moral support in the future if she continues to associate with him.