I want to be an MP, I need to get into Parliament
So vote for me, Mum and Dad, brothers and sisters, uncle and aunt.
I need that five-figure salary and to work when I want.
No degree necessary, experience you don’t need.
Just a fancy suit is all it takes to succeed.
Don’t need a philosophy, I ain’t liberal or democrat,
Labor or Conservative , I ain’t business with that.
Just find me a party who will put me on the list
So when I get in, I know who to block, and who to assist.
Going to feather my nest and damn all the rest.
It’s like winning the lottery when you get in here,
Think what you want, I really don’t care.
I don’t lose too much sleep if my promise failed as the solution.
I’ll just dust it off, and present it again for the next election.
And when things get rough and I don’t get what I’m due.
There is a little trick we politicians use, and I’ll give you a clue.
You make your demand and if they give you the slip
Make a public apology and jump to the next ship.
Name withheld at author’s request.
