Dear Queenie,
My older sister is a bully. She thinks she knows best about everything and that I should do everything the way she says just because she is older than I am.
When we were kids she actually used to hit me if I didn’t do what she said, until I got bigger than she is and she got afraid to hit me anymore, but she still to this day expects me to do things the way she says I ought to.
Now I’m all grown up and married and we’re going to have a baby and my sister keeps telling us both how we should be raising a child, even though it goes against everything we believe.
Queenie, I don’t want to cut my sister out of my life, but I don’t want my children to have to deal with her either. What to do?—Fed up kid brother
Dear Kid brother,
Life-long attitudes and patterns of behaviour such as you describe are very difficult to change. Professional counselling might help both of you – her to change her way of dealing with you and you to learn better ways of coping with her.
Tell her that if she wants to be part of your life and your family’s she will have to go with you for that counselling. If she refuses to go, go without her and do whatever you have to to protect yourself and your children from her behaviour.
