Dear Queenie,
My children are all grown up and living on their own, but some members of my family keep asking me to take care of their kids so they can have an evening out or even go away for a couple of days.
They never offer to pay, they expect me to do it for free. I guess they figure because I have a good job I don’t need the money. But I work full time and I need my own time off to rest up, not chase after little kids like I had to do when my own children were small.
Queenie, how can I say no without being rude?—No babysitting
Dear No babysitting,
It is not rude to say “no” when someone asks you to do them a favour. Any possible rudeness lies in the way you phrase it and in your tone of voice.
For example, it would be totally unacceptable to say, “F*** off so-and-so, I don’t run a day-care centre.”
However, it would not be the least bit impolite to say, “Sorry, so-and-so, I have other plans/need my beauty sleep/(whatever other reason you can think of).”
You might also keep at hand a list of day-care centres and reliable babysitters to which you can refer them. You could even give them a copy of that list for future reference so they do not have to bother you about child care again.
