Dear Queenie,
My husband has medical problems that make it impossible for him to have sex. I can do without the sex, but I am not getting any affection at all from him, no kiss or hug to say “hello” or “goodbye” or “I love you,” no cuddling while we watch TV or for a little while before we go to sleep, nothing.
Queenie, why is he like that? It’s not my fault he is sick.—Neglected wife
Dear Wife,
Your husband may be overwhelmed by his inability to perform and, like many men, (unfortunately) equates any display of affection as “foreplay” – a prelude to sexual intercourse.
Try to explain the difference to him and that you are not looking for sex. I hope you can make him understand.
If not, professional counselling for both of you might help, but if he will not go, go by yourself for help in learning to cope with his failings.
