Dear Queenie,
Our teenage granddaughter does not come to visit us anymore. We asked her mother, our daughter-in-law, why, and she said it’s because the girl doesn’t like the way my husband, her grandfather, rubs her back and shoulders.
Queenie, he’s been doing this the same way since she was small. Why is it all of a sudden a problem? Of course he’ll stop doing it if she doesn’t like it, but why didn’t she just say something?—Sad grandparents
Dear Grandparents,
Probably the way her grandfather was touching her became a problem for her when your granddaughter started going through puberty, and she may have been too self-conscious about it to say anything. She may also have started hearing stories about child molestation and misinterpreted her grandfather’s behaviour.
He should apologise to her for making her feel uncomfortable with him and promise not to do it anymore.
However, she (or her parents) should have said something to him about it before it caused such a rupture in your family relations.
I hope an open discussion and some mutual apologies can heal this breach.
