Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend of many years died in an accident. Come to find out at the funeral, he had a lot of other girlfriends besides me and was just with me for what he could get out of me.
Now when people who knew both of us together see me they offer me their condolences on my loss.
Queenie, should I just thank them, or tell them the truth so they won’t feel bad for me?—Con artist’s victim
Dear Victim,
You have suffered a loss – if not the loss of your boyfriend, the loss of your faith in him. Do whatever makes you feel better.
Dear Queenie,
Is there some rule about having to take your honeymoon right after you get married? My fiancée and I can’t afford a honeymoon trip right now. We are saving up for it, but it’s going to be a while before we can afford it, but we would like to get married right away.
Queenie, do we have to wait to get married until we can afford the honeymoon?—Honeymoon Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
There is no rule that I know of regarding when you must take a honeymoon. In fact, there is no rule that I know of that you must take a honeymoon at all.
So, get married when you are ready and take your honeymoon when you can afford it. If anyone gives you an argument about calling it a honeymoon, tell them it is a “deferred honeymoon” or just your first vacation together as a married couple.
It is really nobody else’s business what you call it, anyway.
Dear Queenie,
When I was in the supermarket the other day I saw a child climbing up on the shelves to reach a product that was high out of his reach. His mother was nowhere in sight so I told him to get down from there before he knocked down the merchandise and maybe fell and hurt himself.
I wasn’t scolding or yelling at him, but his mother showed up and started yelling at me for telling her son anything.
Queenie, did I really do something wrong?—Careful shopper
Dear Shopper,
I think you were right to want to be sure the child did not hurt himself. However, it might have been better to alert the store’s staff or a security guard and let them handle the situation – assuming there was time to do so before everything came tumbling down.
Dear Queenie,
We just found out that a woman in our social group is having an affair with a man who is married and has children.
Now we are not comfortable being around a woman who would interfere in another woman’s marriage, or having her around our husbands.
Queenie, what should we do?—Worried wives
Dear Wives,
Before you do anything, sit down with this woman, tell her what you have found out, and listen to what she has to say. Then you will know what to do.
Dear Queenie,
I have been a high school teacher for a long time. Recently a man who was one of my students when I first started teaching came home from studying and living abroad and we met up and started talking about old times. One thing led to another and he asked me to go out with him on a date.
There was never anything more than student and teacher between us when he was in school but now he’s grown up I find him attractive too.
Queenie, would it be okay for us to start dating?—Hesitating teacher
Dear Teacher,
I see no problem here, except that – this being such a small island – there is likely to be gossip about the age difference between the two of you, and speculation about a possible previous (inappropriate) relationship. Be prepared to cope with either, or both, possibilities.
