Dear Queenie,
My girlfriend and I are talking about getting married, but up to now she has not met my mother. She has met all the men in my family, but she refuses to meet my mother. She says she won’t meet my mother until we are officially engaged, but I say we can’t get engaged until she meets my mother.
Queenie, what do you say?—Confused boyfriend

Dear Boyfriend,
I say it seems your girlfriend has heard to many “mother-in-law” stories and is afraid to meet your mother. I also say that until she is mature enough to face and deal with difficult situations she is not mature enough to get married.
And finally, I say (as always) that professional counselling might help her grow up a little more.

Dear Queenie,
My sister gave my daughter a very generous check for her birthday, but then she started telling my daughter she should spend it on some stylish new clothes because what she was wearing was not in fashion any more.
My daughter works full time and also goes to school – she is working to get a graduate degree – and what with tuition and paying off her student loans she does not have money to spend for new clothes or time to do a lot of shopping. The check was a big help in paying off the loans and she tried to explain this to my sister when she thanked her for the gift, but my sister just would not listen. Now my daughter does not want to talk to her aunt any more.
Queenie, how can I keep peace in the family?—Mother in the middle

Dear Mother,
You could try explaining all this to your sister, but if she would not listen to your daughter, she probably will not listen to you either. If that is what happens, write your sister a letter explaining all this (again). She cannot interrupt a letter or argue with it, and maybe if she reads it more than once the message will sink it.

Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend and I have been together for more than 5 years and now we are talking about getting married, but he is also talking about having children but I’m not ready for that and maybe I never will be. When I tried to tell him that he got mad and threatened to leave me.
I’ve been thinking about getting pregnant just to keep him happy because I do love him, and after all, we’ve been together for so long and I don‘t want to think all those years were wasted time.
Queenie, what do you think?—Confused girlfriend

Dear Girlfriend,
I think bringing a child you do not want into the world just to please someone else is a bad idea. I also think marrying someone who would ask you to do this is a bad idea.
Pre-marital counselling for both of you might help you resolve your differences, but if it does not, do not waste any more time with this man.

Dear Queenie,
My teenage daughter has fallen in love with a man over 10 years older than she is. I told her this is not appropriate, but she still wants to go out with him and maybe be in a relationship with him.
Queenie, what more can I do?—Frantic father

Dear Father,
You can insist that your daughter wait until she has finished high school (and, I hope, university) to date this man or any other man so much older than she is, and meanwhile get to know other, younger, men closer to her own age to be sure of what she really wants.
And if your daughter is younger than the legal age of consent and has been having sex with this older man, you can file a complaint with the police – and make sure your daughter knows this is a possibility.