Dear Queenie,
A guy I was chatting with online sent me a photo of himself that looked very good, but when I finally met him in person he was much fatter, was wearing glasses, had acne and needed a haircut.
Queenie, why do people lie so much on the Internet?—Deceived
Dear Deceived,
And when you posted a photo of yourself, were you wearing makeup, were wearing your “Sunday best” (or maybe as little as possible?) and probably had just come from the beauty salon.
Most people try to look their best when meeting strangers, in person and online, and it is much easier to do so online, so it is not a good idea to trust first impressions, especially online.
Dear Queenie,
My family doctor has prescribed a strict diet for my kids and I keep them to it, but my mother lets them eat everything they want and shouldn’t have. When I object, she says I am too strict and the kids are entitled to a few treats now and then, but it’s really a lot of treats that just aren’t good for them.
Queenie, I just don’t understand. She claims to love them, so how can she not do what is best for them?—Worried mother
Dear Mother,
Does your mother understand why your doctor prescribed your children’s diet, and the possible consequences not sticking to it? If not, take her with you to the children’s next check-up and let the doctor explain to her on the strongest terms possible.
If she does understand and simply refuses to comply, you will have to limit the children’s exposure to her to occasions that do not include eating, and monitor her visits with them strictly to prevent unacceptable snacking.
Dear Queenie,
I like to socialize with people in groups and go to parties, but my boyfriend doesn’t like being with lots of people or people he doesn’t already know.
Queenie, can he get over this? If he doesn’t, is there a chance for our relationship to last?—Worried girlfriend
Dear Girlfriend,
There is nothing wrong with your boyfriend that he needs to “get over.” He just is not a social butterfly like you.
Your relationship has a chance to last only if you are both willing to compromise – that is, if you can get used to going to social events without him and if he can get used to going with you occasionally when it is really important to have him there.
Dear Queenie,
My wife posted some pictures of herself on Facebook that I think are too revealing. She knows how much this bothers me, but she won’t take it down.
Queenie, am I over-reacting?—Angry husband
Dear husband,
That depends partly on what you consider “too revealing.” For example, if she is only wearing a bikini that is still what she could wear in public on the beach or at a swimming pool, so what is the big deal? On the other hand, if she is top- or bottomless, or even completely nude, I would agree with you.
However, this is something on which the two of you will have to reach an agreement. You cannot force her to accept your judgement, but she should be willing to consider your feelings on the matter.
Dear Queenie,
Our adult son still lives with us because he can’t afford to live on his own because he doesn’t have a good job. My wife won’t let me make him pay rent because, like I said, he doesn’t have a good job and she won’t even ask him to help around the house. She says it’s our responsibility to see that he doesn’t end up homeless or in prison.
Queenie, how can I get him to grow up?—Fed-up father
Dear father,
Your son will have absolutely no motivation to grow up as long as his mother continues to treat him like a child.
You should insist that he help around the house and pay a reasonable (as large as possible) portion of whatever he earns for rent and the food he eats. Perhaps having little or no pocket money left over will motivate him to try to get a better job and even (hopefully) move out.
If your wife gives you a hard time about all this, ask her what will become of him if he has not learned to live on his own when the time comes that you and she can no longer take care of him.
