Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend has a lot more money than me. He pays for everything and won’t ever let me buy him a treat. He even pays some of my bills without me knowing about it and after we have been together I have even found money in my purse or my jacket pocket that I didn’t put there. If I admire something in a store or mention something I have seen that I liked, he will go and buy it for me.
I know this sounds great, but it makes me feel like he thinks I am after his money and that I can’t take care of myself, when what I want is to contribute my fair share to our relationship, even if it isn’t as much money as he does.
Queenie, how do I make him understand?—Not-broke girlfriend
Dear Girlfriend,
Your boyfriend seems to be very generous, but he does take things too far. Have you tried to explain to him how all this makes you feel? If not, do so at once, and more than once if necessary.
If he still does not stop leaving money for you, insisting on paying for everything, buying you things and paying your bills, it may indicate that he has less respect for your feelings than you would like to believe, and likes feeling like a bigshot.
And the next time you find money he has left for you, donate it to your favourite charity, or to his in his name, and tell him what you have done with the money.
