Dear Queenie,
I found out that while my husband was out drinking at a bar with some of his friends he was flirting with a woman he works with. He claims it was just flirting and didn’t mean anything, but I also found out that they have been calling and texting each other when I am not around.
I called this woman and asked her what is going on and she said the same thing he did – that it was just flirting and the calls and texts have to do with their work.
Like you always say, this is a small island and sometimes when my husband and I go out we happen to see this woman and they pay no attention to each other. I thought I could trust my husband, but if nothing is going on, why don’t they at least say “hello”?
Queenie, what do you think?—Worried wife
Dear Wife,
I think you are beginning to lose your trust in your husband and the two of you should get professional counselling together, for him to understand why you are so concerned and for you to get help coping with the situation. And, as I also always say, if he will not go with you, go by yourself.
Dear Queenie,
My brother’s 10-year-old son is very shy. He hides in his bedroom the whole time when I visit them and won’t even come out to say “hello” and he won’t even talk to anyone on the phone.
Queenie, shouldn’t his parents teach him to behave better?—Offended aunt
Dear Aunt,
I have to wonder how this child behaves in school – or does he go to school?
He may have some physical, emotional or psychological condition that is influencing his behaviour. If so, are his parents getting him treatment for it? If they are not, encourage them to do so.
Dear Queenie,
My wife’s family talk to each other in Spanish, which is the only language they know and which I don’t know at all, so I never understand a word they say.
My family all do the same thing in English, so of course my wife’s family can’t understand them.
My wife, who knows both languages (I don’t), thinks we are being rude to her family and I think they are being rude to mine.
Queenie, what do you think?—Monolingual
Dear Monolingual,
I think you cannot blame anyone for speaking the only language they know and for not knowing someone else’s language. As long as you all are otherwise behaving respectfully to one another, I do not think anyone is being rude.
That being said, I think it would be nice if all of you would try to learn at least a few words of each others’ languages. Meanwhile, perhaps your wife can try to do a little translating for both sides.
Dear Queenie,
For about a year now my son has refused to have anything to do with our family and most of his old friends. We have tried to stay in touch with him but he never answers our calls or text messages or letters or cards or e-mails.
Queenie, we are all so worried about him. What can we do?—Worried father
Dear Father,
Is it possible that your son has found a new “love interest” who is trying to cut him off from everyone else he loves?
Whatever the reason, you should try to see your son in person to find out what is going on. It may be that he is having a problem that requires medical or psychological treatment.
Dear Queenie,
I’m in a relationship with one of the most difficult guys ever! But I’m so in love with him. Sometimes I feel like I’m too much in love with this guy.
Well, Queenie, I need your advice. I’m trying to make him my last, but I find myself always nagging him way too much on the same things over and over. Keep in mind, I do love my boyfriend but I’m ready for a change and if it doesn’t happen I’m ready to leave.
So, Queenie, please tell me what you think.—In love but blind
Dear In love,
So, you are in love with this guy, but obviously you are not blind to what you consider his faults, because you keep nagging him to change. If he needs to change his ways to be what you want a guy to be, then what he is now is not what you want in a life partner.
Instead of trying to mould this guy into what you consider the perfect man, set him free to find a woman who thinks he is perfect just the way he is (if he can), and leave yourself free to find someone who already meets your requirements (if you can).
