Dear Queenie,
Recently I attended an engagement party where a close relative was going to introduce his fiancée to the family. I asked him her clothing size and brought her a nice blouse, but when she opened it she said it was not her favorite color and not her style and she handed it back to me. I returned it to the store and got a refund.
Queenie, should I get her something else to replace the gift she didn’t like?—Gift-giving Etty Ket

Dear Etty Ket,
I suggest you give her the most complete book on etiquette you can find. And in the future just give her money – I am willing to bet she will like the colour and style of that! Or make a donation to a charity in her name.

Dear Queenie,
My girlfriend says it’s rude to interrupt someone when they’re talking, even if you just say “yes” or “uh-huh” or “wow” or something like that. She also thinks if someone is telling you something they have already told you before it’s rude to tell them they have already told you that.
And one time during election time I got one of those phone calls about why I should vote for a certain candidate and she said I was rude when I told them I was not interested and hung up.
Queenie, is she right?—Conversation Etty Ket

Dear Etty Ket,
Saying “yes” or “uh-huh” or “wow” or something like that when someone is talking is simply conversation, to let them know you are listening to them – not rude.
If you have a habit of saying the same things and/or telling the same stories over and over again, invite your girlfriend to tell you when you are repeating yourself, rather than wasting her time and yours on unnecessary repetition.
As for the election-time call, it may have been rude, depending on your tone of voice and the way you hung up, but I cannot say I blame you for doing so, and it may have been what they call a “robocall,” so who was there to be offended?
On the other hand, in your place I would have listened more or less patiently until the caller was finished talking and then said I was not interested, thus costing the candidate time and money, just to spite him or her for bothering me and to keep him/her from bothering anyone else, for a little while at least.

Dear Queenie,
An ex-girlfriend of my husband’s contacted him on Facebook and while he was visiting on his home island he called her and invited her out to lunch. He told me about it when he got home and doesn’t understand why I am vexed.
In the first place, he didn’t tell me ahead of time that he was going to get in touch with her, and he never told her he is married.
Queenie, am I wrong for being vexed or was he wrong for what he did?—Just asking

Dear Just asking,
He was wrong for not telling you ahead of time and for not telling her he is married. But he did tell you afterward, and if you trust him and believe him that it was just lunch and talking about old times, it is not worth getting vexed. However, you can make it clear to him – gently, please – why you are vexed and that you expect him to do better in the future.

Dear Queenie,
My fiancé and I have been engaged for several years. We lived together after Hurricane Irma while he got his house fixed, but now that it’s done he has moved back to his own place, but he still tries to tell me how I should do things in my own house.
I love him, but I want us to be married and living together.
Queenie, am I wasting my time with him?—Losing my patience

Dear Losing patience,
After so many years, I would say YES! The fact that he moved back to his own house – without asking you to go with him – indicates that he is not really interested in living together with and making a lifetime commitment to you. I also think the fact that he wants to control your life even though the two of you are not even living together is not a good omen for a successful marriage.
And as long as you consider yourself engaged to him, you give yourself no chance to find someone who wants what you want.