Dear Queenie,
I met this guy at a party and he seemed like someone I’d like to really get to know, but we only talked to each other in a group and he never asked me for my number. I don’t know if he is shy or just not interested or was afraid I’d turn him down in front of all those other people.
Queenie, do you think I should get his number or e-mail address from one of our mutual friends and try to contact him?—Lady in waiting

Dear Lady,
Of course, there is no reason he could not get your contact information the way you suggest and give you a call or e-mail. But then too, as you also suggest, he may be afraid of being turned down.
He is probably on Facebook. Try sending him a personal note – not a “friend” request! – saying you enjoyed talking to him and asking if he would like to get together some time for a drink or a snack. If he does not respond, you will know he is just not interested, so let it go at that.

Dear Queenie,
If you give someone a season pass to Carnival or some other series of events, shouldn’t you expect them to use it for all the events? Otherwise it is just wasted money!
Queenie, what do you have to say?—Disappointed donor

Dear Donor,
I say a gift, once given, belongs to the recipient to use, or not use, as he or she sees fit. If there are conditions attached to the gift they should be made clear at the moment of giving so that the recipient has the opportunity to refuse to accept them.
In this case, why not buy the pass for the whole group (your family, I suspect) and arrange among you who will use the pass for which event(s)?

Dear Queenie,
My brother married my best friend and I was maid-of-honour at their wedding. That was about 5 years ago.
The other night I was eating at a restaurant and I saw my brother there with another woman, not his wife, and they were sitting at the bar kissing each other.
The next day I told my brother what I had seen and he admitted he’d been seeing this other woman for almost as long as he’s been married but he begged me not to tell his wife, who is still my best friend.
Queenie, should I tell her or not?—Caught between them

Dear Caught,
It is bad enough that your brother is cheating on his wife. He has no right to ask you to be complicit in this wrongdoing, even if you are his sister.
Your best friend/sister-in-law may already know about this. After all, this is a small island and your brother was out in public with this other woman and apparently making no attempt to hide their relationship. And if your sister does not know, she might never forgive you for not telling her.
Tell your brother you are not going to keep his secret and give him a reasonable period of time to come clean with his wife. Give him a specific deadline, after which you will tell her.

Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend is getting so fat I can hardly look at him. I try to give him healthy food but he goes behind my back and buys all sorts of junk food and snacks. I tried to get him to go to a gym or even just take a walk for exercise but he gets tired so easily so he quit even trying.
It’s not just how he looks, I’m worried about his health.
Queenie, what more can I do?—Fatty’s girlfriend

Dear Girlfriend,
Try to get your boyfriend to go to his family doctor for a check-up. There may be a medical or psychological reason for his weight gain and, if so, the doctor can tell him what it is and how to control it – if he follows the doctor’s instructions – or refer him to another professional who can help him – again, if he cooperates.
Other than that, you can either accept things the way they are or end the relationship. You cannot force your boyfriend to take care of himself properly. And, just possibly, the prospect of losing you will motivate him to do better, although it might also send him into a psychological tailspin that only makes things worse.