Dear Queenie,

My oldest son’s wife dresses like a prostitute. If it doesn’t bother her husband, my son, I wouldn’t care how she dresses, except when she comes to visit us and she is dressed that way in front of our younger sons who are still teenagers and younger.

I don’t want to make trouble by saying anything to her about her taste in clothes but I sure wish she would dress better in front of my husband and me and our younger sons.

Queenie, what is your advice?—Offended

Dear Offended,

Does your daughter-in-law’s way of dressing bother your husband as much as it bothers you, or is he too busy enjoying the view and that is part of what bothers you?

Ask your son to explain to his wife that her style of clothing embarrasses his old-fuddy-duddy mother and to ask her to dress more conservatively when they come to visit you.

As for your younger sons, I have no doubt they have seen the same elsewhere, in public. Do not criticise your daughter-in-law, but when the opportunity arises in conversation explain to them that you do not agree with such a manner of dress, and why.

Dear Queenie,

My husband never remembers special days like our anniversary or my birthday or Mothers Day. He doesn’t even remember his own birthday or Fathers Day unless I remind him!

It is so disappointing that he doesn’t care enough about me or about our marriage to celebrate these special days. I hate having to remind him, it’s like I am begging him for a little attention.

Queenie, is there some way to improve his memory?—Disappointed wife

Dear Wife,

I wonder if that is the way your husband was brought up, or did he develop a poor memory after you were married? Does he seem to care if you fail to remind him about his own birthday? And, have you talked to him about this issue – explained to him how much it means to you to celebrate these special days?

I suggest two possible solutions: take advantage of the “calendar” feature on your computer, smart phone and/or other electronic device(s) to remind your husband of dates you consider important; or, make your own arrangements for whatever celebration you would enjoy on any “special day” and make a big point of thanking him for sharing the celebration with you.

He may get the point eventually, but even if his memory does not improve, you will have your celebrations.

Dear Queenie,

My parents raised me to always send a “thank you” note to anyone who gave me a gift, even if I had already thanked them in person, and I am trying to raise my children the same way.

My question is, is it still necessary for them to write something down on paper and mail it? These days with email and text messaging and WhatsApp and all, is it okay to send an electronic “thank you” or do they still have to do the pen-paper-stamp-Post Office thing?

Queenie, what do you say?—Thank you Etty Ket

Dear Etty Ket,

I believe most of the etiquette gurus still believe in what you call “the pen-paper-stamp-Post Office” thing. However, I think an electronic “thank you” message should be adequate under certain conditions.

First, you must be sure the gift-giver will receive it. Remember, many older persons are not completely in tune with the modern electronic era.

Second, the note should include some message specific to the person who will receive it – for example, a mention of the gift they sent and how it will be used,

Mass mailings of a generalised “thank you” message sent simultaneously to a number of people never were and still are not acceptable, whether sent by “snail mail” or electronically.

Dear Queenie,

My boyfriend works the 4:00pm to midnight shift and I worry about him driving home at night because his night vision is not so good. He doesn’t see as well in the dark and the glare from other cars’ headlights really bothers him.

He would rather work a day shift, but that doesn’t work out where he works and with jobs so hard to find these days he is afraid of losing the one he has.

Queenie, what to do?—Worried girlfriend

Dear girlfriend,

I suppose it would be hard for your boyfriend to catch a bus at the time he gets off work, but maybe he could take a bus to work and you could pick him up at the end of his shift, or he could get a lift from a co-worker, or maybe make an arrangement with a taxi driver. Your boyfriend might be able to arrange a special price if the driver knows he has a dependable regular fare.